Cougar: 40+ woman dating a much younger man, because she can!
Barbie: 20+ girl...well, this is self-explanatory, right?
Hyena: 20+ man waiting for closing time at the bar to pick-up "desperate" 40+ woman because shallow Barbie ditched him on the dance floor for older, richer man.
Ageist: 40+ man looking for something he'll never find in Barbie, but takes her home anyway, because he can.
"Everything Happens for a Reason". Don't you just get sick of hearing that? But, it's true. And sometimes we can see clearly what that reason is, either with hindsight or when the blur from one too many cosmos, clears. Other times, we might as well be blindfolded.
It took a long time for my blindfold to come off, but I now see that being single at this stage of my life really is the best thing for me. Even though it feels it's being forced upon me and I was NOT happy about that at first, I'm finally starting to embrace the possibilities that one-ness offers.
Why this makes sense to me now is that I've observed that, right now at this point in time, societally speaking, most men my age don't want a girl my age. (See chart above). Aside from the fact that that makes them shallow pigs, let's face it, I really don't see too many 40+ year olds out and about that I would want to be with either. I don't want more kids or to alter my family unit right now, I don't want to have to tote my baggage AND his (and you know that's what would end up happening), and the "consummate bachelor" who finally just realizes he's getting older -- yeah, I already trained one guy, not going through that again! And I really have no respect for the "ageists" among them. So screw 'em.
The Hyena's are another disrespectful lot, waiting around til last call to scour the bar in search of the easy prey. HOW on earth did women get labeled Cougars as if they're the ones doing the hunting?! Please! I find the double-standard reprehensible. I am not now, nor have I ever, searched the crowd intentionally looking for a younger man to pounce upon and have my way with. I resent the stereotype, because it makes it difficult to enjoy myself at a bar now. And I used to LOVE going out. (Truth be told I was never one for dance-clubs or meat-markets: Live music and the people who play and listen to live music, are what draw me out into the night. That I continue even in my 40's to enjoy this, comes with it's own set of stereotypical responses from others who do not, but that's another topic for another day).
SO, whether being single is within or without of my control, the next phase of my life could be the most fun & rewarding time I will ever have with my clothes on! I'm planning to fully enjoy the next 10 - 15 years; I'm going to love my kids through the most difficult phase of their lives (puberty), take care of me, examine life's mysteries, and laugh, laugh, laugh! If by chance a desirable man does come around, great. If not, that's really okay too. (Unless, I get really really, really, really horny, but then I'll be the one who decides which beast to bring down; the aging ageist or the young hyena! LOL!!)
Years from now, when these men tire of being alone, and all the Barbies have married and popped out 2.5 kids and are holed-up in suburbia playing bunco, I might be ready for another go at a relationship. Besides, I'll bet that in their quest for perfection or instant gratification they will have learned where true happiness and fulfillment can really be found, when they finally take off the blindfold and see what they were missing all along.
Besides, I have a beautiful vision of my future that includes a companion to travel with, and hold hands at the mall with, and buy goodies for grandkids with, and laugh knowingly at the new batch of hyena's and barbies with. Gonna have to put up with someone!!
